“A real friend will always be there for you, in hard times and only on your side. With close friends, you can share the deepest feelings and be open.”
The most common phrase from people. I remember I used to hear it very often. But is it really true?
How I see friendship: a relation between 2 people, enjoyed without jealousy, but with respect, kindness, honesty. These 2 people could be very different in character and personality. From a friend you do not expect anything in return or follow all your ideas and share an opinion.
So far I noticed that it does not always work out. There are people that attract you and you want to be friends with them, but you do not feel like sharing your feelings. It can be a nice and fun time with them, but such relations are most probably based only on common interests and within the current life situation. Examples are school or university life, internships, gap years. It is like a temporary friendship that, of course, might continue forever.
Another observation is that with different friends we might behave slightly different as well. At work, you most probably will be very careful with friends because it is your reputation and image. At university you are also careful, so no gossips or mobbing happen. I call it something like role models.
People come and go, but true friends stay forever. This is my attitude. Friends can have hard times and it is absolutely normal.
I have only one close friend and I guess I do not need more. Close friend means a lot to me. This is a friend who stays with you no matter what happens and likes the way you are. We got some troubles and bad times and I thought I should leave. On the contrary, hard times made us stronger and careful to each other, we learned from mistakes and try to avoid them in future.
What is the secret? Honest, no betray, no gossips. Adjust to each other. I did not actually like my friend when I saw her for the first time. It was impossible but somehow we are best friends now! I think our secret is that we both admire each other. We appreciate our friendship and take care of it. We know much about our feelings and share secrets.
Back to the first sentence in this post, I confirm it is true for me. Though I do not expect from a true friend to be always on my side because people can have different views and I do not have any right to change them.
Friendship is a nice trip for both of you. It is not only about fun and joy but about respect and understanding. Being honest and helpful, sharing good and bad. Fake friendship cannot last long.